Shrimp and Chorizo Pizza

A few weeks ago, my husband and I had a conversation wherein I stated that I could eat pizza every day… and he told me that that was GROSS. After checking to see if he had fallen gravely ill (what ELSE would explain such a blasphemous statement??), I considered divorcing him on the spot. Then, I came to my senses and realized that I’d rather spend all that lawyer money on PIZZA, GLORIOUS PIZZA, so he gets to stay. For now.

I love pizza of all shapes and kinds. Thin crust, deep dish, Detroit-style (yeah, it’s a thing), round, square. I am a little discerning as it relates to toppings (if you put green peppers on my pizza, you can go straight to hell!), but in general, I am an equal opportunity pizza lover. GIVE ME ALL THE PIZZA! And every now and again, it’s fun to whip up a pizza at home and really go nuts with the flavor combinations. I recommend you try the combination outlined below at your earliest convenience. Like, tomorrow.

Shrimp and Chorizo Pizza
makes one medium, thin-crust pizza

For the pizza dough:
follow the instructions here, but use the ingredient amounts below
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 1/4 tsp active dry yeast
1 1/2 T olive oil
3/4 cup very warm water

For the pizza:
olive oil
3 cloves garlic
1/2 lb raw shrimp
6 oz chorizo, cooked
thinly sliced fresh jalapeños
6 oz monterey jack cheese, freshly grated
pickled red onions (recipe here)
fresh cilantro

1.) Preheat your oven to 475°F. Once your dough is ready to go, stretch it out nice and thin, and place it on a baking sheet coated with a bit of olive oil. Brush the top with some more oil, and then verrrrry thinly slice your garlic cloves, and scatter them over the pizza.

2.) Chop your raw shrimp into bite size pieces, season with salt and pepper, and scatter over the pizza, along with the chorizo. Next, add the jalapeños, then the cheese. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the crust is golden brown and the cheese is melted and bubbly.

3.) Let the pizza cool for a few minutes, and then scatter the pickled onions and cilantro over the top. Serve immediately.

I am pretty sure that the only thing better than pizza, is pizza topped with CHORIZO. That is some ridiculous goodness, right there! The richness of the chorizo is cut perfectly by the pickled red onion, and the shrimp and cilantro kind of lighten everything up. This would be pretty awesome cut into thin slices and served as an appetizer… but equally awesome consumed in its entirety while you’re parked on the couch in your finest sweatpants. There is no judgment here.

Pizza: all day, er’yday,
Tina

Coconut Lime Scones

Scones are one of my very favorite breakfast/brunch treats. They’re not something I have the occasion to enjoy super often (breakfast is typically a something thrilling like greek yogurt or peanut butter toast, plus fruit), so I really like to dress my scones up when I DO have them (not that there is a damn thing wrong with a plain scone, because there most certainly is not). I was recently at a coffee shop with a friend, and I spied a blueberry lemon scone in the pastry case, so I ordered it to go with my hot chocolate (I don’t drink coffee – it’ll stunt my growth, and I plan to be 5’4″ by the time I’m 35)… and it SUCKED. Just straight up sucked. It wasn’t flaky and buttery and light. It was stale, dry, flavorless, and utterly disappointing.

It’s hard being a baked goods snob, you guys. My life ain’t easy.

Anyways, a few weeks later I had the occasion to make some breakfast treats for a morning event, and I seized the opportunity to really do it up. No way a boring, flavorless scone is coming out of my kitchen! I’m not gonna lie, these bad boys were damn tasty. I would (and will) make them again in a heartbeat.

They’re relatively quick and easy to make, they’re pretty, and the bulk of the ingredients are things you might already have in your pantry! (Feel free to tell me I’m nuts if I think everyone has coconut cream in their pantry, I can take it.)

Coconut Lime Scones

For the scones:
one stick (8T) butter, very cold
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1.5 tablespoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 cup shredded, sweetened coconut
zest of 2 limes
3/4 cup heavy cream
3/4 cup coconut cream*

For the glaze:
zest of one lime
juice of 1-2 limes
powdered sugar (about 1 cup)

*I buy the coconut cream from Trader Joe’s, but you can find it in the Asian section of your grocery store, usually. It’s thicker and has more fat that coconut milk, but you can use coconut milk if that’s all you can find. Just DON’T use lite or low-fat coconut milk!

1.) Preheat your oven to 425°. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, shredded coconut, and lime zest.

2.) Using a pastry cutter or two knives, cut the butter into the flour mixture, until the largest pieces of butter are the size of small peas.

3.) Pour the heavy cream and coconut cream into the flour and butter mixture, and use a rubber spatula to mix everything together (be careful not to overmix – you want all the ingredients to JUST come together).

4.) Lightly dust your countertop with flour, and turn the scone dough out onto it, including any dry bits of flour. Knead the dough together just a few times, until it holds together. Pat into a rectangle, and cut into about 12 even squares.

5.) Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silpat, and place the scones on it, about 2″ apart. Bake for 14-17 minutes, until the scones are nice and golden brown at the edges.

6.) Remove the scones from the oven, and allow to cool for about 5 minutes before moving them to a cooling rack to cool completely.

7.) While the scones cool, you can mix up your glaze. You want about 3 tablespoons of lime juice; stir in the zest, and add powdered sugar as necessary until you get a nice, thick-but-drizzleable (yeah, it’s a word) consistency.

8.) When the scones are totally cool, drizzle them with the glaze – as much or as little as you like. They are definitely best the day they’re made, but will hold up well in a loosely covered dish overnight.

Not that I would have personal experience with something like this, but I’m just SAYING… if, perhaps, you were to over-indulge on this upcoming holiday weekend, these scones would make a great morning-after breakfast with a side of your caffeine of choice. Feel free to pair them with a mimosa, if a little hair of the dog is more your speed. I’m certainly not judging.

You bring the bacon and mimosas, I’ll cover the baked goods,
Tina

Sausage Stuffed Zucchini Boats

May I ask a question? WHY do people like zucchini? I mean, I understand not disliking it, or thinking it’s fine… but, people who LOOOOOVE zucchini? WHY?? I just had to ask. I personally think it’s fine, and I will eat it, but I certainly don’t skip through the produce section, seeking out zucchini with joy in my heart. I’ve always found it to be kind of watery and tasteless, and usually mushy.

And with a glowing intro like that one… I assume you’re all ready for a zucchini recipe?? Yayyyy, zucchini! Seriously, though – I do try to vary my vegetable intake in the name of health, so I’m glad to have found a way to eat zucchini that I actually enjoy. Not to mention, this recipe is pretty quick and easy, and doesn’t dirty every bowl in the kitchen. Win-win-win.

Sausage Stuffed Zucchini Boats
serves 2-4

4 medium zucchini, cut in half lengthwise
half a yellow onion, diced fine
2 garlic cloves, minced or grated
1 pound italian sausage (pork or turkey is fine)
1 can diced tomatoes, drained well
1/2 cup cooked brown rice, farro, quinoa, or wheat berries*
2 oz cream cheese
2 T parmesan cheese
2 T minced hot peppers (jalapeno or cherry peppers are great), optional
3 oz monterey jack cheese, grated
olive oil
kosher salt
black pepper

*You can skip this if making a grain just for this purpose seems like a real pain in the ass. However, I think it’s an excellent use for some leftover rice or quinoa from another meal!

1.) Preheat your oven to 325°F. Using a spoon, scoop the seeds and some of the flesh out of the center of each zucchini half. Lightly drizzle the flesh of the zucchini boats with some olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and lay them cut side down on a foil-lined baking sheet. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the flesh is soft, but not mushy.

2.) While the zucchini bakes, start on the stuffing. Heat a skillet over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of oil, and saute your onions until they are translucent, 3-5 minutes. Add the garlic (along with a pinch of kosher salt and pepper – always season each layer of the dish), and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

3.) Add the italian sausage to the pan; cook, breaking it up with a wooden spoon, until the sausage is cooked through.

4.) Throw in the drained tomatoes, brown rice, cream cheese, and parmesan. You can also add the hot peppers now, if you’re using them. My husband doesn’t care for hot peppers, so rather than adding them to the mix, I just sprinkled them on top of my zucchini boats, and left his plain. Stir everything together and cook until the cheese is melted and everything is warm.

5.) Turn on your oven’s broiler. Spoon the sausage mixture into the zucchini, and then top each one with some shredded monterey jack. Pop them under the broiler until the cheese is melted and browned, and then serve!

One of the best things about this dinner is that there is no need for a side dish! You’ve got your protein, your veggies, and your whole grains all in one place. And, you can totally change the recipe up to use whatever you have sitting in your fridge. You could do a version with bbq chicken and corn added to the mix… or go vegetarian and use canellini beans and ricotta instead of cream cheese.

Because the seeds and insides are removed from the zucchini (and they get baked, empty and upside down, for a while), it’s not watery at all. It’s just a great vehicle for holding all the delicious fillings! The number of servings you’ll get out of this will vary. For my particular husband, on the particular night we ate this meal, he took down FOUR zucchini halves (I ate two). On another day of the week, he might stop at two halves… or finish plowing through six. It’s hard to say. You could certainly serve this with a nice side salad or maybe some roasted potatoes, and help it stretch farther.

FINALLY, a decent recipe for squash,
Tina

Whatchamacallit Rice Krispie Treats

If you’ve never experienced the wonder that is a Whatchamacallit candy bar, I am sorry to tell you that you are SERIOUSLY missing out. Sure, the Whatchamacallit doesn’t get the glory of a Snickers, or a Milky Way, or a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup… but there is a boatload of deliciousness to be had in this unassuming candy bar. (You guys, you can’t even find a bag of mini Whatchamacallits at Halloween… awfully RUDE, candy overlords!) It’s crunchy, it’s caramel-y, it’s subtly peanut butter-y – all without being overly sweet or overwhelmed by chocolate.

As an ardent lover of rice krispie treats (I can easily take down an entire pan on my own), I occasionally sit around and daydream about how I could make a standard rice krispie treat more delicious. Clearly, my life is more exciting than you can possibly comprehend. Anyways, one day I was hit with a stroke of genius – that I could make a rice krispie treat that would taste like a Whatchamacallit! It took me several months to actually decide to do it (let’s be honest, I don’t particularly need a gigantic pan of rice krispie treats staring me down all week)… but over the weekend, the urge struck, and I just decided to go with it. I had all the ingredients, I was in the mood for a kind of salty/sweet dessert… and now I’m doing that thing where I keep walking by the plate of treats, cutting off a sliver here or there, just eating a little bit at a time. I fully expect all of them to be gone by this evening.

Whatchamacallit Rice Krispie Treats
makes one 9×13 pan of treats

5 T salted butter
8oz marshmallows
3 T peanut butter
generous 1/4 cup salted caramel sauce
approx. 7 cups rice krispies
2oz milk chocolate, chopped
1 tsp coconut oil (or vegetable oil)

1.) Start by melting your butter in a large pot, over medium low heat. Once the butter is melted, add your peanut butter and caramel sauce and stir, so the warm butter starts to melt the peanut butter.

2.) Add in your marshmallows, and stir continuously so the sugars don’t burn, until everything is melted and smooth.

3.) Remove the pan from the heat, pour in your rice krispies, and use a rubber spatula to gently fold them into the marshmallow mixture. I like to start with maybe 6 cups of rice krispies, and add more as needed – you want to be sure they’re not too dry!

4.) Spray a 9×13 pan with baking spray, and press the rice krispie mixture into the pan (lightly wet your hands to keep everything from sticking).

5.) Add the chocolate and coconut oil into a small bowl, and microwave in 20 second increments until it melts and can be stirred until smooth.

6.) Scoop the chocolate into a small sandwich bag, and snip off a tiny bit of one corner. Drizzle the chocolate over the treats in whatever pattern you like! Let the treats cool and the chocolate harden (you can stick them in the fridge for 20 minutes or so, if you’re impatient like me), and then cut into squares. Enjoy!

YESSSSSSSSSS. These Whatchamacallit treats were EXACTLY what I had in mind. A little salty, a little sweet… nutty, buttery, and juuuust enough chocolate. And, because they consist primarily of puffed rice, they don’t taste heavy or too rich (all the better to eat 18 of them in one sitting). Keep in mind, you can mess with the proportion of caramel to peanut butter, too – I wanted the peanut butter to be present, but not overwhelming (as it is in a Whatchamacallit), but if you’re a peanut butter fanatic, feel free to use more PB. I am not sure why I’m admitting this, but I added my peanut butter and caramel sauce to the pan, and kept tweaking until the mixture smelled like a Whatchamacallit. Evidently, I am intimately familiar with the exact scent produced by the Whatchamacallit-specific ratio of peanut butter and caramel. Please feel free to be embarrassed on my behalf.

The nose knows,
Tina